I had this vision of making a to die for Lemon Meringue. The whole family were excited and I couldn’t wait to start. Fuuuuccckkkk!
So I strapped my 10 month old on my back and started this asshole of a pie.
First I made shortcrust pastry that just didn’t workout…nevermind it’s just a base I told myself. Then burnt my hands while taking it out to cool.. I weighed down the base with rice .. as you do and of course it spilled into the base…nevermind noone with notice. Fuck you ricey base!
Then I thought I’d be clever and use lemon curd from a jar (the man had posted this brilliant idea to facebook…subtle ). Fuck you lemon curd!
Then I whipped 7 egg whites and placed it on top, cooked for a few minutes. Fucked the meringue topping…nevermind it’ll still be edible .. let it cool. Nope it’s disgusting! Miss 7 being super sweet as she is said no it’ll taste good and proceeded to smile through 3 mouth fulls with little gags in between. ‘It’s good Mum’.
Mr 5 who has literally eaten shit couldn’t even stomach it. He made a good dent in his piece but not even my shit eating 5 year old could eat the fucker.
I’m so annoyed. Fuck you lemon meringue and fuck all you wonderful jerks who make it look easy!